This is an ultraviolet light which, when used in a darkened room, will highlight certain fungal infections on the skin or hair. The fungus shows up as a fluorescent object under the lamp. The procedure is painless.

Skin scrapings

A small scraping of material from the skin is taken, using a small scalpel blade. This is then looked at under the microscope, where fungi and parasites can be readily identified.

Biopsy

A local anaesthetic is given to put a small area of skin to sleep and a 3-4 millimetre plug of skin is removed with a special instrument or needle. The specimen is then sent to the laboratory for further examination and identification. This is rarely required in children with common skin problems.

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In each of my answers, I used a sex-education principle that has worked well for me. I always over answer the question. I give more information than is required just so long as I give a specific answer to whatever was asked. I suggest you try the same approach. It’s a good chance to make a lot of points you would like to make about living.

I have done this type of teaching with groups of senior citizens. I recently met with over two hundred senior citizens, most of whom were permanency living in nursing homes. I thought you might like to read just a few of their questions and my answers to support my earlier point that sex education is not for children only, and to provide information on the relationship between sexuality and aging.

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WIFE

Of all the arguments and differences in the couples’ program, the issue of fellatio and cunnilingus was one of the most frequent sources of disagreement regarding actual sexual interaction. Husbands wanted it, were reluctant to give it, wives wanted it less and were very reluctant to give it. Of the 1,000 women, 266 reported that they enjoyed fellatio. The rest reported never doing it or doing it reluctantly. Nine hundred twenty-seven husbands reported that they enjoyed or very much enjoyed fellatio, and 88 husbands reported seeking out partners outside the marriage specifically for fellatio.

Three hundred forty-four husbands reported enjoyment of cunnilingus, while 233 wives reported enjoying or very much enjoying cunnilingus. Generally, oral love was a male-oriented preference in these couples. However, following education regarding posturing, a new perspective on the ejaculatory reflex, hygiene, and changing conceptions of oral love as “dirty,” couples learned to discuss oral love as an option. The use of approximations of oral love, kissing of thighs and abdomen, was also helpful. The five-year follow-up showed that oral love was mutually incorporated into the sexual pattern of 743 of the couples.

Men discussed attitudes that women were “dirty down there,” reporting odors or tastes that were negative. The husbands apparently were unaware that they, too, have odors and tastes. Once open discussion took place, oral love was demystified, and became another opportunity rather than a forbidden act performed by perverted people. The issue was not a woman’s issue, it was a couples’ communicational and educational issue. There was much more blame than fact to the myth that women dislike oral love, but nobody likes one type of loving all the time. What oral love means to each partner is more important than how it is done.

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I get up. He gets up. I eat. He eats. The kids eat. He leaves. I leave. Reverse it at night. That’s it. Welcome to the world of our marriage.

WIFE

Our society teaches that stimulation comes from without, not within. It teaches that variety is the spice of life, and that variety is something we go “after” by seeking more and more from “out there.” If we are bored, we think it is because we are not in a stimulating place. Therefore, if our marriage seems boring, if we feel bored with our partner, it must be that they have become boring or that time and overexposure have rendered them not as stimulating as someone new might be.

Until we learn that stimulation comes from within and not without, American marriage will be victim of the “sameness problem.” Developmental theorists continue to preach that we must provide extensive and varied environmental stimulation for our children. Without it, they rightly assert, the brain does not develop to potential. They neglect the feet, however, that adults can generate their own stimulation by turning in, by learning to be aware of feelings, sensations, and signals. We see light with our eyes, but we perceive it with all of us that is human. What we see depends on how and who we are, on what is “in here,” not what is “out there.”

It is obviously counterproductive to intentionally “bore” the sexual dimension of marriage. There is such a thing as acclimation, just getting used to something and no longer reacting intensely to Ë-1 tell my couples to pay attention to privacy, to dress and undress in private, to wear comfortable, personally pleasing clothing to bed. There is a difference between comfortable exposure and overexposure, so it is unwise to take the privilege of seeing each other nude for granted.

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It appears to be a natural process which happens to us all but is more common in women and begins after the menopause. In men, the same process seems to develop after 65 but rarely causes problems until the eighties.

Bone is a living tissue and constantly undergoes change. Old bone is resorbed and new bone is laid down. Bone consists of a protein matrix on which calcium salts are deposited and give it strength.

The cause of this problem is still a matter of debate and continued research. Originally, it was thought to be one of failure of adequate protein matrix but now there is evidence that some changes in calcium balance are also involved.

Osteoporosis does not, in itself, cause symptoms, but the thinning of the bones makes them fragile and more easily liable to fracture even from simple injury.

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The brain also may not escape. Convulsions may develop or weakness and paralysis appear when the nerves are involved.

There is a high incidence of anxiety and depression in this disorder, perhaps more than could be assumed to follow on when such a serious disorder with widespread symptoms affects a young woman. Psychosis or serious mental illness may also occur.

Anaemia is common. Fever may be the obvious symptom.

Because this disease affects mainly young women, the question is often raised — should they become pregnant once the diagnosis is made? It does appear that pregnancy is not contra-indicated, but there is a high rate of spontaneous abortion.

There are Lupus Associations in some of the States and these can be of great help to sufferers.

Cortisone is the drug mainly used. This may induce a remission in the disease and then can be maintained in a small dose to control it. The other anti-inflammatory drugs are also used, and the drugs used to treat malaria may be of benefit as they are in other related disorders like rheumatoid arthritis.

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Examination of the urine by testing for protein and sugar and looking at it under the microscope is the only special test necessary.

Most cases are primary and have never been dry for longer than, at most, a month. Those secondary cases who have achieved control for months, or even years, and then relapsed are usually due to some emotional upset such as separation or the arrival of a new baby. These cases usually respond to counselling.

Lifting the child at night before the parents go to bed doesn’t cure it as the times when the child voids vary so much. But, done consistently, it certainly gives dry sheets — and there is the possibility that he will grow out of bed-wetting.

Dehydration — that is, by restricting fluids in the evening — is another method widely used but is of little benefit.

Sometimes, both the parents and the child are satisfied by a full explanation and reassurance and no further treatment is needed. They are prepared to wait until time effects a cure.

In the past, several drugs were used, but with only moderate success.

*10/71/1*

All of the above is about the here and now. Try to apply the same ideas to the future. Have you made a will? People with nicer often avoid doing this because they somehow see it as meaning that they are giving in or giving up hope. Of course, it doesn’t mean anything of the sort. All adults should have a will, because all of them, sooner or later, will most certainly die. Making a will simply means acknowledging and accepting that reality. I know that it is a reality which is unpleasantly close for you, but avoiding making a will doesn’t make the possibility of death go away. If you make a will you are acting on your right to dispose of your property as you wish instead of leaving these decisions to others who should not be responsible for them. Be strong and do it.

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