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There are probably many ‘sexualities’, and this is why labelling is a fairly useless exercise. This has been discovered in HIV/AIDS education which was initially targeted at ‘high risk groups’, namely gay and bisexual men and intravenous drug users. The problem with this approach is that a man who has sex with other men may not identify himself as either gay or bisexual and would refuse to believe or simply not understand that he was at risk. We live in a society that loves to label people, but some people don’t find the label suits them. It’s like the old joke about the man who says, ‘I’m not gay but the bloke I had sex with last night is.’ What makes more sense is to talk about specific sexual activities. I mean, some people are surprised to find that there are some gay men who hate anal intercourse. There are certainly some people who are surprised that there are heterosexual couples who like it. That’s why labels like ‘homosexual’ or ‘heterosexual’ are fairly impractical when it comes to preventing sexually transmitted diseases.

Times are starting to change. HIV/AIDS is finally being seen as a problem for the whole community. In Australia and

Canada the military has reviewed their rules banning gay men and lesbians from the armed forces.

Recently there was a much-publicized defamation suit in Britain involving the performer Jason Donovan. He successfully sued a British magazine for publishing a story that implied that he was gay. Now, regardless of the finer legal details, it just goes to show that being labelled ‘gay’ is considered to be a long way short of a compliment.

Maybe one day we will have a society mature enough that ‘gay’,’ bisexual’ or any other label will not be considered an insult. Maybe the labels won’t even exist, as people focus less on sexual acts and fantasies as the key to personality, and more on whatever relationships add value to our lives.
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Oscar Wilde’s suicide attempt remains a poignant symbol of the thousands of young people who try to take their lives because they cannot cope with the confusion or fear about their sexuality, or the distress of being excluded from their peer group, victimized, harassed, or attacked. It is estimated that a third to a half of all teenage suicides are related to issues of sexual orientation. This is another urgent reason to educate young people about sexual orientation so that they have a better understanding of themselves and others.

It is just as important that the person ‘coming out’ is able to understand why their parent feels the way they do.

The best decision might be not talking to your family at all. After all, part of growing up is not feeling as though you have to tell your parents everything about yourself. It is not always easy for ‘straight’ friends to be accepting.

Sarah is now twenty-nine. She had been living with a man for several years when she met Susan. ‘It was like nothing I had ever felt before. I thought about her all day and then dreamt about her at night. I found myself physically and emotionally attracted to her like a magnet. I couldn’t believe it was happening because I had never been aware of any attraction to women at all, except as friends. After we became lovers I felt I had no choice but to commit myself to the relationship; it just felt so right. At first I only told a few close friends. They weren’t all as pleased for me as I would have liked. Actually, that’s an understatement.
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Wood’s Lamp

This is an ultraviolet light which, when used in a darkened room, will highlight certain fungal infections on the skin or hair. The fungus shows up as a fluorescent object under the lamp. The procedure is painless.

Skin scrapings

A small scraping of material from the skin is taken, using a small scalpel blade. This is then looked at under the microscope, where fungi and parasites can be readily identified.

Biopsy

A local anaesthetic is given to put a small area of skin to sleep and a 3-4 millimetre plug of skin is removed with a special instrument or needle. The specimen is then sent to the laboratory for further examination and identification. This is rarely required in children with common skin problems.

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The discussion with children went on for more than one and one half hours. In a room full of kids, some of who were diagnosed as severely retarded emotionally impaired, and hyperactive, they all sat and listened. They laughed sometimes, but no more than their parents and the staff. They asked, listened, and learned. You can tell by their questions that they had put a lot of thought into this area already. You noticed the kids asked the questions in no particular order or interconnection in most cases. They were just more direct than some of us.

In each of my answers, I used a sex-education principle that has worked well for me. I always over answer the question. I give more information than is required just so long as I give a specific answer to whatever was asked. I suggest you try the same approach. It’s a good chance to make a lot of points you would like to make about living.

I have done this type of teaching with groups of senior citizens. I recently met with over two hundred senior citizens, most of whom were permanency living in nursing homes. I thought you might like to read just a few of their questions and my answers to support my earlier point that sex education is not for children only, and to provide information on the relationship between sexuality and aging.

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I don’t know about oral love. I did it once, and my husband sort of humped up at me and I almost gagged. I don’t like the idea of it, the taste of it, and I’m afraid he will come in my mouth. I just don’t do it anymore, but I think it is probably his favorite thing. I think he wants my mouth more than he wants me.

WIFE

Of all the arguments and differences in the couples’ program, the issue of fellatio and cunnilingus was one of the most frequent sources of disagreement regarding actual sexual interaction. Husbands wanted it, were reluctant to give it, wives wanted it less and were very reluctant to give it. Of the 1,000 women, 266 reported that they enjoyed fellatio. The rest reported never doing it or doing it reluctantly. Nine hundred twenty-seven husbands reported that they enjoyed or very much enjoyed fellatio, and 88 husbands reported seeking out partners outside the marriage specifically for fellatio.

Three hundred forty-four husbands reported enjoyment of cunnilingus, while 233 wives reported enjoying or very much enjoying cunnilingus. Generally, oral love was a male-oriented preference in these couples. However, following education regarding posturing, a new perspective on the ejaculatory reflex, hygiene, and changing conceptions of oral love as “dirty,” couples learned to discuss oral love as an option. The use of approximations of oral love, kissing of thighs and abdomen, was also helpful. The five-year follow-up showed that oral love was mutually incorporated into the sexual pattern of 743 of the couples.

Men discussed attitudes that women were “dirty down there,” reporting odors or tastes that were negative. The husbands apparently were unaware that they, too, have odors and tastes. Once open discussion took place, oral love was demystified, and became another opportunity rather than a forbidden act performed by perverted people. The issue was not a woman’s issue, it was a couples’ communicational and educational issue. There was much more blame than fact to the myth that women dislike oral love, but nobody likes one type of loving all the time. What oral love means to each partner is more important than how it is done.

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Super Marital Sex Rule: Super sex depends upon the development of an mutual responsibility for the erotic cycle that emerges between two persons over time. Cycles are not signs of “boredom.” They evolve when persons tune in to each other. All things in life are cyclical, and super sex results from awareness of, communication about, and learning from these cycles so that changes, when necessary, can be made together and in keeping with both persons’ emotional and physical needs.

I get up. He gets up. I eat. He eats. The kids eat. He leaves. I leave. Reverse it at night. That’s it. Welcome to the world of our marriage.

WIFE

Our society teaches that stimulation comes from without, not within. It teaches that variety is the spice of life, and that variety is something we go “after” by seeking more and more from “out there.” If we are bored, we think it is because we are not in a stimulating place. Therefore, if our marriage seems boring, if we feel bored with our partner, it must be that they have become boring or that time and overexposure have rendered them not as stimulating as someone new might be.

Until we learn that stimulation comes from within and not without, American marriage will be victim of the “sameness problem.” Developmental theorists continue to preach that we must provide extensive and varied environmental stimulation for our children. Without it, they rightly assert, the brain does not develop to potential. They neglect the feet, however, that adults can generate their own stimulation by turning in, by learning to be aware of feelings, sensations, and signals. We see light with our eyes, but we perceive it with all of us that is human. What we see depends on how and who we are, on what is “in here,” not what is “out there.”

It is obviously counterproductive to intentionally “bore” the sexual dimension of marriage. There is such a thing as acclimation, just getting used to something and no longer reacting intensely to Ë-1 tell my couples to pay attention to privacy, to dress and undress in private, to wear comfortable, personally pleasing clothing to bed. There is a difference between comfortable exposure and overexposure, so it is unwise to take the privilege of seeing each other nude for granted.

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One of the consequences of growing old is a thinning of the structure of bone and this is called osteoporosis.

It appears to be a natural process which happens to us all but is more common in women and begins after the menopause. In men, the same process seems to develop after 65 but rarely causes problems until the eighties.

Bone is a living tissue and constantly undergoes change. Old bone is resorbed and new bone is laid down. Bone consists of a protein matrix on which calcium salts are deposited and give it strength.

The cause of this problem is still a matter of debate and continued research. Originally, it was thought to be one of failure of adequate protein matrix but now there is evidence that some changes in calcium balance are also involved.

Osteoporosis does not, in itself, cause symptoms, but the thinning of the bones makes them fragile and more easily liable to fracture even from simple injury.

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Probably the most serious involvement is when the kidney is affected. This can lead eventually to kidney failure or the inflammation can go on to cause a secondary hypertension or high blood pressure.

The brain also may not escape. Convulsions may develop or weakness and paralysis appear when the nerves are involved.

There is a high incidence of anxiety and depression in this disorder, perhaps more than could be assumed to follow on when such a serious disorder with widespread symptoms affects a young woman. Psychosis or serious mental illness may also occur.

Anaemia is common. Fever may be the obvious symptom.

Because this disease affects mainly young women, the question is often raised — should they become pregnant once the diagnosis is made? It does appear that pregnancy is not contra-indicated, but there is a high rate of spontaneous abortion.

There are Lupus Associations in some of the States and these can be of great help to sufferers.

Cortisone is the drug mainly used. This may induce a remission in the disease and then can be maintained in a small dose to control it. The other anti-inflammatory drugs are also used, and the drugs used to treat malaria may be of benefit as they are in other related disorders like rheumatoid arthritis.

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