All of the above is about the here and now. Try to apply the same ideas to the future. Have you made a will? People with nicer often avoid doing this because they somehow see it as meaning that they are giving in or giving up hope. Of course, it doesn’t mean anything of the sort. All adults should have a will, because all of them, sooner or later, will most certainly die. Making a will simply means acknowledging and accepting that reality. I know that it is a reality which is unpleasantly close for you, but avoiding making a will doesn’t make the possibility of death go away. If you make a will you are acting on your right to dispose of your property as you wish instead of leaving these decisions to others who should not be responsible for them. Be strong and do it.

*20/40/1*

75 grams corn kernels

250 ml vegetable stock

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 teaspoon Chinese wine

50 grams crab meat

1 stick celery, finely chopped

1/4 teaspoon corn flour

1 egg white

Fresh coriander leaves

Place the corn kernels in a blender and blend until coarsely chopped. In a saucepan, bring the stock to the boil with the corn. Add the seasonings, wine and crab meat, and chopped celery. Thicken die mixture slightly with the corn flour and finally, pour in the egg white in a steady stream, and beat. Remove the soup from the heat immediately and garnish with the torn coriander leaves.

Creamy Pumpkin and Soy Milk Soup

1 whole pumpkin

2 litres water

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 piece ginger

1 cup soy milk

2 tablespoons tamari

Sea salt to flavour ;

Chop pumpkin and boil in water. When tender, remove pumpkin from water. In a food processor place a small amount of chopped garlic, chopped onion, the ginger and a few chunks of the pumpkin. Add soy milk and blend in the food processor until you have a slightly runny consistency.

Place back in the pan and then blend the rest of the pumpkin. Once all the ingredients have been blended and placed in the pan, add tamari and sea salt, and simmer. Add water if you require less thickness in your soup. Serve with a thick dollop of natural acidophilus yogurt (if desired).

Energy Tonic Soup

8 dried shitake mushrooms

1 slice dried Chinese licorice root

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 onion, chopped

1 carrot or sweet potato, chopped

1 slice fresh ginger

1 dried hot chilli pepper

1 handful basil leaves

3/4 cup pearled barley

6 cups vegetable or chicken stock

1 teaspoon olive oil

2 teaspoons barley miso

Chives, chopped

Soak the mushrooms in hot water until soft. Discard the stems and slice thinly, save the liquid. In a large saucepan, combine ingredients (except olive oil, miso and chives), plus reserved liquid. Bring the soup to the boil, reduce heat and simmer covered, until the vegetables and barley are tender (about 1 hour). Remove from heat and add olive oil. Mix miso with a small amount of water, and then add to the soup. Serve hot, sprinkled with chives.

*224/34/5*

Interestingly, some people ask “Why me?” for the first time after treatment is completed. Shock, confusion, and preoccupation with the treatments may have kept you from asking this philosophical question until you tried to reintegrate yourself into the healthy world. The contrast between how other people look and feel and how you look and feel highlights just how much you have suffered and lost.

Why Me?

This is an age-old question that touches on your beliefs about the meaning of life and about God. The human condition is one that includes pain, loss, and death. There is no escaping the human condition. Use the question “Why me?” as a stimulus to explore your beliefs. Books, clergy, friends, and family can help you work toward an acceptable answer, or toward peace with no answer.

From a cold, practical point of view, unless the chance of your developing your type of cancer was zero before your diagnosis, your developing cancer was consistent with the probability. For example, if you had an l-in-1,000 chance of getting leukemia, developing leukemia would be in keeping with the probability.

From a more philosophical or existential view, the corollary question “Why not me?” may induce you to let the “Why me?” question rest.

If understanding the human condition does not quell your anger, disappointment, envy, confusion, or depression associated with seeing other people go along their apparently merry way while you struggle with recovery from cancer treatment, or if “Why me?” continues to affect your thoughts and feelings, seek assistance from clergy or counselors. Getting stuck in “Why me?” will trap you in your diagnosis. Finding acceptable answers or alternative, answerable questions will liberate you to move forward.

Find peace with the “Why me?” question so that you can move on to a more practical one: “What can I do about my situation now?”

*179/32/5*

Unlike that of animals, whose sexuality is fairly well programmed, your sexual drive is affected by your body, your emotional state, your relationship with your partner, and the stresses in your life. Sexual dysfunction, especially if it has appeared only since your cancer diagnosis, is a symptom that suggests medical, emotional, and/or social problems.

Many people report diminished or absent libido, or sexual drive, after completion of cancer treatment. In some cases, it is directly related to your cancer or its treatment. It may be the result of, for example,

•brain surgery that affected the part of the brain dealing with libido

• medicine that blocks hormones that contribute to libido

Decreased libido can be indirectly related to your cancer and its treatment. It can be a manifestation of

•fatigue

• medication effect

• pain

• depression

• emotional stress or anxiety about yourself

• poor self-image or fear of rejection

• strained relationship with your sexual partner

Focusing attention on sexual difficulties will encourage you to identify and attend to problems that can be solved or reduced. Working through the sensitive issues of sexual dysfunction can foster emotional closeness with your sexual partner that will spill over into other spheres of your life together.

*85/32/5*

No. Although you may have an increased risk for developing certain problems, most cancer survivors do not develop these problems. For example, if the normal risk for developing a certain medical problem is 1 in 5,000 and your cancer treatment r you at ten times the usual risk, your risk becomes 10 in 5,000. Statistically speaking, this is a much higher risk than if you not have your cancer treatments, but the absolute risk is still very small.

Are Late Effects Preventable?

As more is learned about late effects, efforts can be made to vent them by

•adjusting the treatment to be as effective as possible in curing the original cancer while minimizing the chances of creating late effects. Advances in the techniques of radiation therapy allow a more effective killing of cancer cells with less damage to surrounding normal tissue.

•taking measures to protect against late effects. Smoking causes changes in blood vessels that worsen the changes from radiation. Stopping smoking reduces the damage to normal tissue from radiation.

•investigating potential medicines and treatments that do not interfere with killing the cancer cells but help protect the normal cells against the damaging effects of cancer therapy. Several such studies are currently in progress.

•exploring and perfecting medicines or therapies that can be administered after the completion of therapy and that can stabilize exposed normal cells, making them less likely to turn cancerous themselves.

•taking measures to minimize added injury or risk to tissue injured by cancer therapy. Skin that has been radiated is especially vulnerable to the damaging effects of exposure to the sun.

•being alert to situations that trigger late effects. After the patient has received bleomycin or mitomycin-C (two types of chemotherapy), high-dose oxygen can trigger lung injury and thus should be used only when absolutely necessary.

You do not need to become an expert on all of the medical effects of all of your treatments. The way for you to minimize your chances of developing late effects is to

•know the names and amounts of all your treatments •remind the doctors, anesthesiologists, and dentists who treat you of all treatments you received. Remind them before every treatment; do not assume that they remember prior discussions.

*58/32/5*

People often develop symptoms or emotions around the time of the anniversary of an event. Consciously and subconsciously, anniversary dates of births, deaths, weddings, divorces, accidents, and traumas such as theft or rape rekindle deep emotions.

After cancer you have new anniversaries, such as that of your diagnosis, that of completing treatment and that of a bone marrow transplant that was a lifesaver. The anniversary reaction can consist of any combination of feelings of anxiety, overwhelming gratitude, weepiness, sense of dislocation, exultation, and depression.

Common symptoms that occur around anniversaries include generalized anxiety, melancholy, sleeplessness, and irritability. People can also develop specific symptoms that may or may not be related to the anniversary event. An irritative cough may develop around the anniversary of a lung cancer diagnosis. Fatigue may develop around the anniversary of a bone marrow transplant. Friction between you and your spouse may develop near the anniversary of your diagnosis.

What Can Be Done about the Anniversary Reaction?

Recognize it as a conscious and subconscious remembering of an important event. Marvel at the complexity and intricacy of human behavior. Try to make it a “good” anniversary by focusing on the good aspects of where you are. Accept yourself if this is a difficult time for you. Arrange your schedule to accommodate your reactions, or schedule activities to distract you from unpleasant feelings. One family that survived the devastation of hurricane Andrew in 1992 made plans to see a big baseball game on the anniversary date in order to distract themselves from the memory of that terrifying experience. If you recognize what is happening, it will be less unsettling and you can plan for it in whatever way works best for you.

If you catch yourself reliving in your mind the original event of an unpleasant anniversary, train yourself to stop this counterproductive rumination. Think of something else, something positive and life affirming. On the anniversary of your diagnosis, do not dwell on the details of being told. Do not relive the drama in your mind. Reliving bad experiences, even if only in memory, revives the associated feelings. It is best to reinforce positive, good feelings.

See anniversaries as opportunities to reinforce good feelings about your life.

*145/32/5*

If you are unable to work in the short term, in the longer term or not at all because of your illness, you may be eligible for Social Security benefits. These benefits apply under the category of “Income Security for People with Disabilities and the Sick”.

The aim of the benefits is to ensure that people who are sick, and those caring for them, receive adequate and secure income support. Payments you may be eligible for include

• Disability Support Pension: for anyone over 16 years of age and under aged pension who has a physical, intellectual or psychiatric impairment of at least 40 per cent and who is unable to work for at least the next 2 years as a result of that impairment, and is unable as a result of that impairment to undertake vocational training which would equip them for work within the next 2 years.

• Disability Wage Supplement: same qualification requirements for Disability Support Pension, plus the person must also be participating in the supported wage system as advised by the Department of Health and Family Services. Once granted, the ‘inability to work’ condition no longer applies.

• Carer Pension: for anyone providing full-time care to a person who has a physical, intellectual or psychiatric disability, and who needs care permanently or for an extended period. The carer must live with the person being cared for or in an adjacent home and must not be receiving another income support payment.

• Sickness Allowance: for anyone who is temporarily incapacitated for work and who has suffered a loss of income as a result of that illness or injury. The claimant must also have a medical certificate from a qualified medical practitioner. Sickness Allowance is paid for a maximum of 12 months and can be extended for another 12 months in certain circumstances.