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YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: MS. MYTH – THE ORALITY MYTH
I don’t know about oral love. I did it once, and my husband sort of humped up at me and I almost gagged. I don’t like the idea of it, the taste of it, and I’m afraid he will come in my mouth. I just don’t do it anymore, but I think it is probably his favorite thing. I think he wants my mouth more than he wants me.
WIFE
Of all the arguments and differences in the couples’ program, the issue of fellatio and cunnilingus was one of the most frequent sources of disagreement regarding actual sexual interaction. Husbands wanted it, were reluctant to give it, wives wanted it less and were very reluctant to give it. Of the 1,000 women, 266 reported that they enjoyed fellatio. The rest reported never doing it or doing it reluctantly. Nine hundred twenty-seven husbands reported that they enjoyed or very much enjoyed fellatio, and 88 husbands reported seeking out partners outside the marriage specifically for fellatio.
Three hundred forty-four husbands reported enjoyment of cunnilingus, while 233 wives reported enjoying or very much enjoying cunnilingus. Generally, oral love was a male-oriented preference in these couples. However, following education regarding posturing, a new perspective on the ejaculatory reflex, hygiene, and changing conceptions of oral love as “dirty,” couples learned to discuss oral love as an option. The use of approximations of oral love, kissing of thighs and abdomen, was also helpful. The five-year follow-up showed that oral love was mutually incorporated into the sexual pattern of 743 of the couples.
Men discussed attitudes that women were “dirty down there,” reporting odors or tastes that were negative. The husbands apparently were unaware that they, too, have odors and tastes. Once open discussion took place, oral love was demystified, and became another opportunity rather than a forbidden act performed by perverted people. The issue was not a woman’s issue, it was a couples’ communicational and educational issue. There was much more blame than fact to the myth that women dislike oral love, but nobody likes one type of loving all the time. What oral love means to each partner is more important than how it is done.
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